based on my post this past Friday, you might have the impression that i'm a cynical, bitter wife who is disappointed in my husband. quite the contrary, my friends. i'm a realist who no longer forces unrealistic expectations on my husband and tries to allow him to live his life with a wife who is content with our state of affairs. that doesn't always work out, but that is my goal!
however when you have little ones at home or perhaps have a stressful job (things of this nature often happened when i was teaching pre-kids, for example), sometimes psycho wife rears her ugly head no matter how hard she tries to fight her demon self! and a man may feel like the balance of the universe has once again been shoved off its axis, and he is left reeling with the sensation of being caught in an unexpected storm on a sunny day.
take this instance as an example. the other day, after jay had been away for several days on a business trip, i was about to lose my mind. diesel and lula had been fighting for almost an hour straight. i'm not exaggerating. there was screaming, slamming doors, and sobbing babies (actually just one... diesel). meanwhile i was trying to vacuum before jay arrived home. i tried to intervene several times, but no one was listening, and i must confess i lost my temper and my normally calm, cool head.
in the midst of this stressful chaos, jay sent me the following text before he boarded his final plane home: "looks like we're on time. what have we got for entertainment tonight? love you."
seems like a pretty benign text, right? but here's what went through my mind as i pushed back the tears of frustration: "i can't control my children right now. i'm about ready to lose my mind. i just want to run down the street screaming. and now my husband wants me to find some kind of entertainment for him tonight??? why can't everyone just leave me alone? i don't need one more person needing something from me. it's not my job to provide entertainment for a grown man..."
you get the idea. it was irrational, extremely selfish, and not very pretty. thankfully i took a deep breath before responding to jay when i simply said, "a couch. love you."
how was jay to know what state of mind i was in at that moment? that's what i mean about expectations. our man comes home from work and we're raving lunatics with our claws out looking for someone to sink them into. poor guys! all they did was work all day to provide for us and we're ready to chop their heads off for no reason.
anyway, i've realized how unpleasant i am when jay comes home from work most days. i'm not always mean or crabby, but i'm just not pleasant. i feel like jay has to walk on eggshells until he knows what kind of mood i'm in. how miserable!
so i decided recently to come up with some guidelines for myself to help with this. and i'll tell you what they are tomorrow!