so here it is. i'm NOT a photographer. i'm NOT a graphic designer. and i don't want to be. i'm NOT a web designer, SEO expert, marketing guru, social media junkie, a fashion or decorating genius. and i don't want to be. (ok...maybe i DO want to be a fashion and decorating expert.)
what i AM is a mother, a wife, a writer, a health food nut, a lover of music...especially worship music, a follower of Christ, a friend, a daughter, a lover of my house and making it pretty, an average sewer, an avid reader.
i AM exaggerative but not dramatic. i am tired frequently, frustrated frequently, sad frequently because life is just too real sometimes. i am an over-thinker.
i used to be optimistic, glass-half-full. i want to be that again. i used to be a good listener. i want to be that again. i used to be a serious dreamer. i want to be that again.
what's strange about these revelations is that for the past couple of years, i've mainly been focusing on what i am NOT. i've been so focused on trying to become something else, someone else, that i've practically forgotten who i actually am.
but i'm done with that. i'm looking around and realizing that i need to give more, a lot more of myself to my family, my friends, and my community. and not give on a shallow level to make people happy or to make people like me, but give deeply and sincerely.
i've been so focused on me, turned inward, completely self-involved. our society is the perfect hotbed for such a mentality. with our ultra-shallow relationships perpetuated by all the social networks available, it's easy to forget how to be real, deep, sincere with a few people closest to you. it's easy to become self-involved, selfish. oddly, we're so "connected" but we're more lonely than ever before. depression is more prevalent than ever before.
it seems like the more i've turned inward, the more depressed, anxious, and dissatisfied i've become. it's time to turn around, face out, face the sun, face people.
so...what does that mean for my blog? for starters, it's no longer going to consume my life. if i want to write, i will. if i don't, i won't. i'm not going to spend time trying to make my pictures gallery-ready. that's never going to happen anyway! i'm going to write more, photoshop less, and write more about what's on my mind and heart. it's going to become more of a journal. if people want to read it, great! i want to share, but my ultimate goal will no longer be to add a sponsor or have the best post or get my numbers up.
thanks for coming with me on this journey...whoever you are out there! i'll "see" ya around!